Friday, September 4, 2015

Save This Old House

Before.....help.!
Save this old house

Dear readers.  You may be familiar with the PBS television show “This Old House”.  This show features several restoration experts who spend other people’s money to repair large, old homes with high ceilings.  There is also a magazine version of the same program.  The producers re-package the TV show in a print version of TOH and sell it to people like me. The readers and viewers naively look at the pretty photos or the show and think they can do the same quality work that a team of technicians do after the TV show’s hosts go to a bar to get hammered following the day of filming.

This Old House has a page in the back of the magazine they call “Save This Old House” that highlights some old home that must be moved, or restored, or it will be demolished.  They profile the home, give its history, its measurements, its turn on, turn offs, and fetishes.  The editor hopes someone will be lured in and try to fix up the home. 

After -  Artist's rendition.
I was reading one of those articles and it occurred to me that I should submit my house to TOH magazine, to be “saved”.  So I dug out a few old photos of the house, and wrote an article for the “Save This Old House” page.   I plan to send in the article below with the hope that the magazine prints my plea, and someone steps forward to save this old house.  I will report back if there are any suckers, err, readers that are willing to save a small, non-descript piece of Americana.  Here is what I plan to submit: 
 
To:  the Editors of This Old House Magazine.  Submitted for “Save This Old House” section.
The history:  There has been a lot of documented history that occurred near to where this old house is sitting.  This old house is located just a few miles from the alleged spot, that in, 1687 RenĂ©-Robert Cavalier de La Salle, the famed French explorer met his demise at the hands of his own mutinous men. His men, protesting La Salle’s requirement for them to wear a beret, went on strike, then lured him to his death. Historians are divided on why he was in Texas.  La Salle might have been seeking the seven cities of gold, or perhaps the fountain of youth.  What historians do agree on, however, is that RenĂ©-Robert Cavalier de La Salle had a very long, pretentious name.

Fast forward three hundred years.  Then stop and go back a few years, to the time when this old house was built.


Before - Interior:  hazardous living conditions
Why save this old house?  Of course this old house was not here when La Salle explored the area, but if it were, it would almost be worth saving.  This old house was originally conceived of as a weekend retreat from the big city.  This modest structure served the needs of a typical Texas family on weekend outings and holiday gatherings.  It is a hand built home, with no unique distinctions except for the decade’s long construction time period.  It is built entirely from locally kiln dried wood, forged steel nails and surplus windows and doors, It is a time capsule of amateur construction methodology from the late 1960’s. 


This structure was built before the era of You Tube or Google, where the novice builder could get the guidance needed to almost succeed at a construction project.  Also, this project did not have the benefit of nail guns, laser guided saws, or battery powered anything, yet is still standing, however precariously, forty years later.  It is a testament to the
fact that if you use enough nails, even a poorly built structure will stay upright.  No matter that the floors sag and the walls may not be square, it is a stalwart example of what can be created from surplus and reclaimed materials.   There are many styles of architecture that designers are familiar with.  Such as Victorian, Tudor, Neo Classical, etc.   Architects would probably put this old house in its own category and call it "Creak Revival". 



After - Ahhhh
What it needs:  For a mere $200,000 contribution, cash only, you will have the privilege to literally save history.  Replace the siding, gut the master bath, and  add air conditioning would be a few of the preservation suggestions.  After restoring this old house you will have the personal satisfaction that the owners will get years of contentment from your cash infusion.  You will be sent a lovely 8 x 10 color photo of the finished rehab, suitable for framing, if you provide a postage paid envelope. 

Unlike the explorer La Salle, you will be remembered for finding the fountain of youth for this old house. 

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