How do dogs know,
before they first ever jump up on a couch, that it is a comfortable place for
them to sleep, while you are not looking?
How is it
possible to have No-Fat Half and Half for your coffee? Doesn’t the No Fat half cancel out half of
the Half and Half? If this was gasoline,
would you be buying half gas and half nothing?
Am I missing a genius marketing idea, or am I just an example of customer
naiveté?
Why don’t we
sneeze in our sleep?
Why is it that on
weekend nights or times when I don’ have any pressing issues in the morning are
the night when I have no trouble sleeping.
How is it that
the gas tank is always empty on the days you don’t have time to stop and fill
it?
Why do dogs lay
right in the middle of the hall, or the kitchen or in the doorway of the
bedroom and force everyone to step over them, rather than lay in a nice, quiet
corner or in the doggie bed they were provided?
I have not once had a bird, or a squirrel, or a deer lay down in the
traffic area of our house and take a nap.
Why does it feel
so good to sleep in a 72 degree room during the summer, but the same 72 degrees
feel like you are sleeping in a deep freezer in the winter?
Why is it that
when you make sure and carry a book into a Doctor’s waiting rooms that the wait
time is always much shorter than the days when you forget to bring in reading
material?
How do dogs know
when we are eating? They always seem to
know when to beg for food. I never see a
dog beg for food when I put socks in the drawer or put mail in the
mailbox. But they somehow know when I
put food into my mouth.
Why do science
fiction movies show humans wearing spandex?
Have movie costume designers not noticed that we are all fatter now that
30 years ago? I hate to think how we
will look in that spandex in another 30 years. It will be a crew of Pillsbury Dough Boys.
Why is it that
you will put off making a Dr. appointment for an ache or a pain, but when you
finally do make the appointment, you immediately begin to feel better, even
though you have not seen the Dr. yet?
How do pets know
to come in to your room during the night one at a time to tell you they want
water or want out? How do they know to wait until you’ve
just fallen back asleep from dealing with the first pet before they start to
pester you?
Why do some
people keep magazines near their toilet?
Why would anyone consider
that particular location to be conducive to leisure reading? The chair is not comfortable; your trousers are wrapped around your ankles and if you are successful in the presumed
primary mission you are probably not experiencing the highest air quality. Seems to me this is one job and one household
fixture that you’d NOT care to dwell on.
Why was it when I
was a younger man I eschewed playing golf since it offered no physical
exercise, but now that I am older it is too strenuous to play?
Why is it that I
can hardly keep my eyes open when watching TV in the easy chair but have a
difficult time sleeping in bed?
How can we be
intelligent enough to put men on the moon and return them safely home but not
be able to invent a personal pronoun for a person when the sex of the person is
unknown? You can’t use “She” or “He”
since you don’t know male or female.
“It” Does not seem to
suffice. How about combining all
three: “SHeit”?
