Sunday, January 1, 2012

When good beavers go bad

Bad Beaver, Bad !

When good beavers go bad

Back when I was a young kid, we watched a lot of cartoons. I vividly remember the ones of the cute little beavers, scurrying around a pond, working hard to build their dam. They would cut down little trees with their exaggerated teeth, and then stack them up in the pond. Then they’d use their broad flat tails to pack mud around the sticks and make the dam all neat and tidy. They were quite industrious. There was always happy music playing on the cartoon soundtrack and I think the beavers were whistling along with the tune as they destroyed the timber. Everyone loved beavers.

Looking back on that now, as a so-called adult, I believe these hardworking beavers were supposed to be our role models. These cartoons were subtle messages to us that we should all become productive citizens. But think about it….how could they REALLY be whistling to that happy tune with those humongous teeth sticking out of their heads? And just why was it OK for them to modify their habitat drastically like they did without an environmental impact study? And weren’t they prematurely releasing CO2 by killing the trees? What other lies and propaganda were they feeding us impressionable youngsters way back in the 50’s? Hmmmmm.

Who’d have thought that one day, some of these cute little beavers would show up in on my property, live in my lake, and cut down my trees. Between the severe drought that this area has experienced for the past 12 months, and the beavers chewing trees like crazy, I have lost dozens of trees just around my lake and the creek. The little buggers are targeting the Sweet Gum trees for some reason. Maybe the name Sweet Gum is the key to their choice, rather than the Chinese Tallow trees or the Pines. No one would willingly eat something called Tallow, I don’t think. And Pine trees just smell like automobile deodorizer and probably taste like Mr. Clean.

I don’t necessarily have any special affinity for Sweet Gum trees, but they do look beautiful when their leaves turn color in autumn. Most tree leaves in this part of the country just turn brown, shrivel up and fall off the tree. At least Sweet Gums make the effort to turn a rich dark burgundy color. Can’t the oaks and elms make an attempt to have some fall color? Can it really be so hard?

Another tree that these beavers have discovered is a Texas Black Gum or Tupelo. This tree is a hardwood that has a gorgeous bright red leaf in the fall. The Black Gum is a rare tree on our property but the damn beavers have found two of them. One will certainly die, and the second one has been eaten half-way thru the trunk and may be dead by next spring. AARRGH. I will try to rescue it by stapling mesh wire around the base of the trunk. This is the only way to keep the beavers from turning a perfectly good tree into wood chips.

The real question I have is why would these beavers have it out for me? I have always supported beavers. I think buck teeth are adorable… on someone else. I think being able to eat corn on the cobb thru a chicken wire fence might be a handy talent. And I am a devotee of Buckee’s, a chain of highway gas stations that sell coffee and snacks who use a beaver as its mascot. Why would these fur bearing buzz saws pick on my trees? Wouldn’t they rather go attack someone who drains swamps or makes beaver hats for a living? My friends ask me if I am going to exterminate them. I will not. You see, I live in a wooden house. And they know where I live. Oh crap, now I think I hear them whistling.