Viva Odd Vegas, conclusion

This is supposed to make me want to eat here?  OK.

Viva Odd Vegas - conclusion

I had big plans for this Las Vegas trip.  I had been given a free pass to attend Front Sight, a weapons training school located about 45 minutes from Las Vegas.  It was a two day school.  The timing would be perfect since the conference started on Wednesday.  I planned to fly in on Sunday and take the school on Monday and Tuesday, ahead of the conference.  But by the time I tried to register for the shooting school it was already booked up.  So that ruined the first part of the week for me.   Therefore I rescheduled my flight to reduce the hotel expense, and canceled the rent car since I did not need to drive to the school. 

Plan B was to visit the odd and weird places in Las Vegas that don’t get much attention.  But since I canceled my rent car, I did not have an easy way to get around the area.  It is hard to use a cab when you really don’t know where to tell the driver to go, and I am clueless when trying to figure out bus schedules.  So on Tuesday morning of my first full day there, I just walked around the “strip”.  To be clear, the “strip” does not involve removing any clothing, but it does involve removing money from your wallet.  Everything in Vegas is expensive.  All the new casinos are now located on Las Vegas Blvd, (the Strip) and not on Fremont Street any more. 

It was a hot day, even though it was mid-October, so I ended my stroll and headed to the hotel pool.   I cooled off in the water, then ordered a couple of adult beverages.  They cost as much as a full meal at a nice restaurant.  But this is Vegas.  You can figure that everything costs at least double what it would cost in the outside world.  I don’t know where the famously cheap buffets have gone but I never saw one.  

After the pool I am sure I went back to my room to do some work on my computer.  I am sure of this because there may be someone from my office that might read this.   After working really hard, I ventured back outside to find some dinner and to people watch.   It got late, and I was tired.  My feet hurt and my contact lens were dry from the desert air so I headed back to my hotel.  Not quite yet ready to call it a night, I was in Vegas, after all, I thought I’d get another cocktail as a night cap.  I have always heard that they give gamblers free drinks when in the casino, so I decided to test that theory.   I don’t know how to gamble, but any moron can use a slot machine, right? 

  

In preparation for this trip, I read up on gambling techniques.  I was going to be an educated gambler, not a chump.  I read that each slot machine says on the front of it how much it has paid out in winnings.  You should choose a machine with a high payout amount. Some slot machines take quarters and some take singles, fives or even a credit card.  The article said to avoid a machine near the casino entrances, since those machines were adjusted to pay out fewer winnings than ones near the back of the casino.  So, I wandered into the bowels of the casino armed with all this knowledge.  In the dim light I saw a bank of slot machines that looked like they took single dollars so I sat down.  It felt good to take a load off my feet.  I did not have any single ones, so I fed a $5 bill in the machine, figuring I would slowly play five times.  I hoped a waitress would come by and I’d get a free drink.  I hit the play button and watched the ubiquitous images on the slot machine tumble in front of me.  They came to a stop, and of course I lost.  It was only then that I realized I had mistakenly chosen to bet the entire $5 on one roll.  Damn.  That was not much fun.  I guess not every moron can play a slot machine.  I did not wait for a waitress.  I took what remained of my pride up to the room and went to bed.

Fremont Street, downtown Las Vegas

The next two days were the conference and I did learn a lot.  In my professional position I need to stay on the cutting edge of regulations and technology.  Attending these conferences is a way to do that.  (This statement was NOT directed at the person who approves my expense report).  A couple of my buddies, Ben and Justin,  from another company were there too and we attended the sessions together. 

Our last night there I suggested we go to the old downtown Las Vegas, on Fremont Street, where the original casinos were built in the 40’s and 50’s.  The city has turned Fremont Street into an open air mall, of sorts.  They closed off the street to vehicles.  There is a huge archway of LED lighting, which is perhaps 100 feet above the street, spanning from one side of the street to the other.  This lighting system covers several blocks of the old downtown street.  They say this is the largest viewing screen in the world. There was music blaring from an unseen sound system. Millions of LED lights pulsed above our heads, in unison to the music.  The sparkling glow from the lights and from the surrounding casino’s neon, made the place festive and alive.

On Fremont Street the crowd is, well, a bit rougher than the folks walking around on the Strip.   These patrons seem a bit less well heeled.  Perhaps they shouldn’t be here spending money on booze and gambling.  I wondered how many were blowing their rent money.   Mixed among the throng of visitors were dozens of street performers.  These performers adopt cartoon character personas or dress as super heroes and want you to tip them when they pose for photos.  It seems like an odd way to make a living.  But these entertainers probably think that sitting indoors in a boring conference for two days is an odd idea too.

We saw lots of pretty girls posing in show girl costumes.  And some girls who were wearing even less that showgirl costumes.  We did not choose to get photos with any of them.  I am a happily married man, just in case my wife, the fetching Mrs. Intrepid Traveler, happens to read this.  

No, not a Chippendale dancer

There were muscled up men posing as Chippendale dancers.  Star Wars characters, jugglers, and all other manner of street artists.   I spotted an old guy who was supposed to be Cupid, wearing just a red thong, pasties and wings.  He sported a bow and arrow and beckoned  me to come closer.  I did not move, or even make eye contact with him.  No reason to tempt fate.  There were singles, couples and families pushing baby strollers in the mix of folks enjoying Fremont Street.  But I don’t know why anyone would bring a kid down there.  I spotted one very pregnant lady, drinking a beer, who apparently wanted to get a jump start of producing a child suited for life as a street performer.  

My aching feet decided for me that I had experienced enough fun, so I suggested we call it an evening.  It was an enjoyable week.  I had fun with Ben and Justin,  and liked the conference and the nightlife.  But I did not get to see the odd and weird things that I had hoped to see...  unless I count the moron I saw in the mirror who’d just played a five dollar bill in the one dollar slot machine.  Who knew gambling took brains?  Maybe I am qualified to be a street performer after all.  Move over Cupid.

Viva Odd Vegas, part one

Viva Odd Vegas, part one

I just got back from Las Vegas, Nevada where I attended a business conference.  Yes, I know what you must be thinking:  Vegas?  Work?  Seriously, it was for work.  I was a delegate at an annual industry conference that actually is beneficial for me to attend.  I am not a big drinker, or a gambler, so Vegas does not have that much appeal to me.  But now and again, it is interesting to go out there and pretend I belong.

I was curious as to how Las Vegas came to be, so I did a little research.  The name, Las Vegas, loosely translates to “the land of cheap souvenir T-shirts”.  This translation seemed a bit odd, when I read that this area was visited by Indians and Mexican goat herders long before T-Shirts were invented.   Some things never change, however.  Back then, parents returning from the area brought back woven blankets that were hand painted with:  “Mom and Dad went to Vegas and all I got was this wool blanket.”

The famed one armed explorer, John C. Fremont was sent by the U.S. war dept. to the Las Vegas valley in 1844, when it was still Mexican territory, in preparations for a possible war with Mexico.   There ultimately was a war and this area became U.S. territory.  It is said that Fremont, in a moment of dire thirst, said “I’d give my right arm for a cold beer right now”.  He was a century too soon, but the sentiment of giving up an arm to be in Vegas is the reason why slot machines are referred to as one armed bandits.  Well… this story sounded plausible when I first made it up.

In 1930 the Hoover dam was started, which eventually furnished the region with water.  The city literally blossomed in the desert from the abundant water, almost free electricity from the dam generators, and money from the mafia.  The Nevada state legislature made gambling legal and the first casino, Pair of Dice, opened in 1931.  By 1942 organized crime figures such as New York's Bugsy Siegel, (not to be confused with Bugsy Bunny, who would have been here, but took a wrong turn in Albuquerque), took interest in the growing gaming center.  Other resorts such as the Flamingo, which opened in 1946, and the Desert Inn, which opened in 1950 joined the casino world.  After the casinos on Freemont Street were built the money started flowing in from all over the world.  

Elvis was a Pee-Wee wannabe.

Gambling was no longer the only attraction; the biggest stars of films and music like Frank Sinatra, Dean Martin, Liberace, Elvis Presley and Pee-Wee Herman, performed here.  OK, maybe he wasn’t a big star, compared to Pee-Wee,  but Elvis eventually gained some notoriety, and weight here. After coming to see these stars, the tourists would resume gambling, eat at the gourmet buffets, then go back home and have a heart attack.  Perhaps it was not from over-indulging, but from seeing the credit card bill.

One problem for the City of Las Vegas was that the Strip did not reside in Las Vegas proper. Because of this, the city lost tax revenue. There was a push to annex the Strip by the City of Las Vegas, but the Mafia used a legal maneuver to organize the Las Vegas Strip properties into an unincorporated township called Paradise. The city of Las Vegas, cannot annex an unincorporated township. To this day, virtually all of the Strip remains outside the City of Las Vegas

I think that the phrase “what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas” is really misleading.  None of the stuff that happens in Vegas is really in Las Vegas.  So does that mean it does not stay there?  Does it now follow you all over the world, like a stalker? 

I will continue with part two of this after I have had time to sober up enough to attend my Gamblers Anonymous meeting.