House sitting

Cheers !

House sitting -  July 2013

Hello Ali and Andrew

Thanks for letting me stay at your house while you were away.  Everything here is fine, now.

When I first arrived it was a bit stuffy in the house, so I opened up all of the windows and doors.  But then it got hot, so I cranked down the thermostat of the A/C.  You have a great unit.  I could feel the cold air boiling out of the windows when I sat out on the deck.

I decided to make myself an adult beverage and found your blender and a bottle of 18 year old scotch.  I knew you’d appreciate me using up that old scotch so you could buy some fresh scotch.  I poured the entire bottle into the blender, along with some fruit and ice.  You’d think the fruit would make it a healthy, yummy beverage but it tasted like crap.  So I tossed it out.  I then found a full bottle of vodka that I used for the next three batches of fruit drink. 

I felt very refreshed after that. So refreshed, that it seemed like a good idea to fire up your grill and cook something.  I had the fire going really, really well, then realized I had not checked your refrigerator to see if there were any steaks to grill.  There were not, so I drove to the store to find something to cook.

After a few hour of driving around your neighborhood, lost, I stumbled back on to your street.  Thank goodness the trash can that I had knocked over when leaving for the store was still in the street or I might never have found your house.  It was quite busy around there, however, because some nosy, George Zimmerman wanna-be neighborhood watch character had called the fire dept.  It seems the coals from the grill had fallen out and caught your deck on fire.  I think it was probably time for you to replace it anyway, right?

This neighborhood watch guy gave me some fake sounding name like “Ben”, like I am going to believe that is his real name.  He said he spotted the smoke coming out the front door.  I told him it shows that the house has good ventilation if the back yard air can freely come thru the house to the front.  He should be happy for you. 

The fire dept. says the smoke damage inside is minimal, and the deck and garage are replaceable, so no harm done, right?  Too bad the dogs did not know to stay away from the flames, however.  Ben claims he took them to an animal hospital for treatment.  Does he think I am so stupid as to believe there are HOSPITALS for DOGS?? Yea, right.

Anyway, the good news is Ben picked up the garbage strewn all over the street from when the fire truck hit the can that I knocked over. The carpeting is beginning to dry out from the fire hoses, and your A/C is still pumping our very cold air to the neighborhood.  I am sure you will be applauded by everyone for lowering the temperatures around here.  I am happy to help you be appreciated by your neighbors.

Let me know the next time you both will be out of town at the same time.  I will be happy to house sit.  But please get more vodka and steaks.  A man has to eat, you know.