A typical relaxing weekend in the country.
It was supposed to be a relaxing weekend at our ranch the west Texas Hill Country. My wife and I were going out to our place to make sure the house and water system was OK after a hard, cold winter. We planned to have family members visiting here in three weeks for my daughter’s wedding reception. We wanted to make sure we didn’t have broken pipes or water damage.
It is a six hour drive so we didn’t get there until nearly dark Friday night. First thing I did was hike up the hill to check on our water system. I opened the valve connecting the water line to our storage tank, and then hiked further up the hill to the tank itself. I pulled off the access cover and peered down in to the dark tank. It was bone dry. And no water was coming in from the line I just opened. AAARRGH! I figured the Property Owners water system must still be down. I gave the bad news to my wife. Thanks to her, however, we had several two gallon containers of water stored in the house for just such situations. At least we would be able to flush and rinse the sweat off. (Not that I was planning to sweat).
The evening was glorious. The moon was so full it nearly burst in the eastern sky. With field glasses we could see the pores on the Man in the Moon’s face. He should see an Astro-dermatologist. We relaxed from the long drive on the large wooden deck and surveyed our personal kingdom. The dusty green hue of the rolling hills stretched out before us. All was good. We’d deal with the lack of water tomorrow.
l was just pulling the steaks off the grill when the dog started barking at some critter. He took off after it in the darkness. I let him go, thinking “what’s the harm? “ Then we smelled the unpleasant aroma of skunk wafting back from his direction. AAARRGH! The dog just got sprayed, and we don’t have any bath water to wash him with. He sulked back to us somehow knowing he was in deep doo-doo. His odor was not adding to the dining ambience so we made him sit downwind of us.
We piled the dirty dishes in the dry sink. They could wait until morning since I was confident we’d resolve the water problem. I covered the grill. It was windy but I was sure the coals would die out soon. We crashed for the night. It was cool, so we left the bedroom window open.
I was immediately unconscious, but about midnight I got a nudge from my wife. She quietly said “the deck is on fire”. Now, normally after a long drive, and a big meal, I am a bit lethargic when aroused from a deep sleep. But there is something inspiring about hearing the words “on fire” when you are in the middle of thousands of acres of dry ranch land with no water pressure. My brain has never engaged so quickly. I even astonished myself at my Ninja –like reflexes. I leaped out of bed, found one of those stashed water jugs, and ran outside to do battle with the inferno.
There was a yellow flame boiling out from under the charcoal grill. One of my thoughtful hunting buddies had placed a round black tray under the grill to protect the deck from falling sparks. Turns out this tray was plastic and not metal. Hot ashes from the grill had fallen down on to it and the plastic melted and caught fire. The wooden deck was burning too, but had just started. I emptied the jug of water on the flames which were quickly extinguished. I poured more water in to the grill itself and doused the glowing embers.
Later it occurred to me that If my wife had not awoke in time to see the flames while they were still manageable, I might be writing this tale from Heaven. (OK, I am an optimist). I wonder if there is a burn unit at the Pearly Gates. I hate the thought of going through eternity as a crispy critter. Everyone would know that I was the dumbass that set my own deck on fire.
Early the next morning I got up to fix the water problem. I followed the plastic pipe down to the well and didn’t see any breaks. I traced the line back up to our tank and decided, just for grins, to open one of the extra cut off valves that is never closed. Sure enough it was closed. I opened it and water gushed in to our storage tank. Boy, did I feel stupid for not opening that valve last night. Anyway, all is good. We have water.
I walked back down the hill, following the line to the house. Then I see that the valve near the house was split open from freeze damage. This is why our tank went dry. All the water leaked out when the valve broke. AAARRGH! If I had just looked at this closer last night, I would have already been to town to get a replacement. I did not see the need to hike back up the hill to close the valve from the tank to the house. Even though the tank was filling I knew water would not come down the hill since we had lost the vacuum on the line. I told my wife that, and that I’d be back in an hour with a new valve.
An hour later I returned. She then tells me that I was wrong again. When the storage tank filled up, the water pressure in the line pushed thru the air pocket and spewed all the water out thru the damaged valve, like a geyser. Now the storage tank was dry again. AAARGH.! I replaced the valve and the 800 gallon tank began re-filling one more time. I am seeing a disturbing pattern of errors in decision making on my part. What else can go wrong?
The storage tank finally filled and we had normal water pressure in the house. I stepped in to the kitchen and heard the sound of rushing water. I pulled open the cabinet below the sink and found water boiling out like someone had a garden hose running in it. I yelled for my wife to shut the valve I had just replaced. I discovered that the water filter had apparently broken during the freeze and was dumping water all over the place. AAARGH!
OK, now I am thinking.” If I had only let that fire burn this place down, the heat would eventually melt the plastic pipe, releasing 800 gallons of water which would douse the flames before all of west Texas was toast”. And I would not have to deal with these water problems. But real men don’t react that way… or so I have heard. I did what all real men do, when they know they have been beaten….I packed up and we left. Six hours back behind the wheel never seemed so relaxing.
It is a six hour drive so we didn’t get there until nearly dark Friday night. First thing I did was hike up the hill to check on our water system. I opened the valve connecting the water line to our storage tank, and then hiked further up the hill to the tank itself. I pulled off the access cover and peered down in to the dark tank. It was bone dry. And no water was coming in from the line I just opened. AAARRGH! I figured the Property Owners water system must still be down. I gave the bad news to my wife. Thanks to her, however, we had several two gallon containers of water stored in the house for just such situations. At least we would be able to flush and rinse the sweat off. (Not that I was planning to sweat).
The evening was glorious. The moon was so full it nearly burst in the eastern sky. With field glasses we could see the pores on the Man in the Moon’s face. He should see an Astro-dermatologist. We relaxed from the long drive on the large wooden deck and surveyed our personal kingdom. The dusty green hue of the rolling hills stretched out before us. All was good. We’d deal with the lack of water tomorrow.
l was just pulling the steaks off the grill when the dog started barking at some critter. He took off after it in the darkness. I let him go, thinking “what’s the harm? “ Then we smelled the unpleasant aroma of skunk wafting back from his direction. AAARRGH! The dog just got sprayed, and we don’t have any bath water to wash him with. He sulked back to us somehow knowing he was in deep doo-doo. His odor was not adding to the dining ambience so we made him sit downwind of us.
We piled the dirty dishes in the dry sink. They could wait until morning since I was confident we’d resolve the water problem. I covered the grill. It was windy but I was sure the coals would die out soon. We crashed for the night. It was cool, so we left the bedroom window open.
I was immediately unconscious, but about midnight I got a nudge from my wife. She quietly said “the deck is on fire”. Now, normally after a long drive, and a big meal, I am a bit lethargic when aroused from a deep sleep. But there is something inspiring about hearing the words “on fire” when you are in the middle of thousands of acres of dry ranch land with no water pressure. My brain has never engaged so quickly. I even astonished myself at my Ninja –like reflexes. I leaped out of bed, found one of those stashed water jugs, and ran outside to do battle with the inferno.
There was a yellow flame boiling out from under the charcoal grill. One of my thoughtful hunting buddies had placed a round black tray under the grill to protect the deck from falling sparks. Turns out this tray was plastic and not metal. Hot ashes from the grill had fallen down on to it and the plastic melted and caught fire. The wooden deck was burning too, but had just started. I emptied the jug of water on the flames which were quickly extinguished. I poured more water in to the grill itself and doused the glowing embers.
Later it occurred to me that If my wife had not awoke in time to see the flames while they were still manageable, I might be writing this tale from Heaven. (OK, I am an optimist). I wonder if there is a burn unit at the Pearly Gates. I hate the thought of going through eternity as a crispy critter. Everyone would know that I was the dumbass that set my own deck on fire.
Early the next morning I got up to fix the water problem. I followed the plastic pipe down to the well and didn’t see any breaks. I traced the line back up to our tank and decided, just for grins, to open one of the extra cut off valves that is never closed. Sure enough it was closed. I opened it and water gushed in to our storage tank. Boy, did I feel stupid for not opening that valve last night. Anyway, all is good. We have water.
I walked back down the hill, following the line to the house. Then I see that the valve near the house was split open from freeze damage. This is why our tank went dry. All the water leaked out when the valve broke. AAARRGH! If I had just looked at this closer last night, I would have already been to town to get a replacement. I did not see the need to hike back up the hill to close the valve from the tank to the house. Even though the tank was filling I knew water would not come down the hill since we had lost the vacuum on the line. I told my wife that, and that I’d be back in an hour with a new valve.
An hour later I returned. She then tells me that I was wrong again. When the storage tank filled up, the water pressure in the line pushed thru the air pocket and spewed all the water out thru the damaged valve, like a geyser. Now the storage tank was dry again. AAARGH.! I replaced the valve and the 800 gallon tank began re-filling one more time. I am seeing a disturbing pattern of errors in decision making on my part. What else can go wrong?
The storage tank finally filled and we had normal water pressure in the house. I stepped in to the kitchen and heard the sound of rushing water. I pulled open the cabinet below the sink and found water boiling out like someone had a garden hose running in it. I yelled for my wife to shut the valve I had just replaced. I discovered that the water filter had apparently broken during the freeze and was dumping water all over the place. AAARGH!
OK, now I am thinking.” If I had only let that fire burn this place down, the heat would eventually melt the plastic pipe, releasing 800 gallons of water which would douse the flames before all of west Texas was toast”. And I would not have to deal with these water problems. But real men don’t react that way… or so I have heard. I did what all real men do, when they know they have been beaten….I packed up and we left. Six hours back behind the wheel never seemed so relaxing.
